the ongoing move saga...
So here I am in an apartment that does not have central air and this week they are predicting temps over 100 degrees...and ya'all know I'm a big pus when it comes to being hot. I decided to buy a window AC unit last week. I went online to price shop and came across a nifty Kenmore model at Sears and they have this buy online and just pick it up at the store thing. All was well and the guy even put in my trunk for me!
Since I was on that side of town, I stopped at Sam's Club and picked up an adjustable metal bed frame. It did not want to go home with me! First I had to coax it out of the box some moron was gracious enough to put under the shelf that held the matresses. I wedged it up and out just far enough for the end to fall right on my big toe.
Rocco: Fucking... What the fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking... How did you two fucking fucks... [shouts]
Rocco: fuck!
Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.
A few explitives later and alot of zen breathing, I hoofed it up again to put it in the cart. It would have helped if the cart did not try to run away! At least it didn't land on my foot. Third times a charm and I got the fraking thing in the unruly cart. The rest of the visit to Sam's land was me dodging stupid humans who apparently could not see the big ass long box sticking out of my cart and proceded to run into it an slap themselves silly...it took way too much willpower to not giggle with much sadist satisfaction. The dumb fucks had the audacity to look at me as if I had some lordly power over their oblivious little universe. Oddly, the jousting pole of a bed frame submitted to being shoved into the back of my car with little problem. It even bunked nicely along side the AC unit...I've been keeping an eye on it for signs of some kind of post event Scorpion like revenge.
Back to the AC unit...you know I seem to remember when you bought things, pulled them out of the box, plugged them in and they worked. Not anymore. I had to read the directions...which were apparently written by stoned howler monkeys by the way...just to figure out how to set it up. Of course I actually followed the directions and put the side wing acordian folding things on backwards. I didn't find this out till after it was in the window. I don't know which pissed me off more, the sweat dripping into my eyes or the fact that I had to pull the heavy ass AC out of the window again. There's some fraked up irony when its too hot to continue putting in an AC unit.
Luckily my bed was under the window and the AC unit was new and not all nasty. I took the eight screws out and switched the side panels...of course they did not fit as well the right way...and I had to fight with the eight stupid things and try not to puncture the vinyl. So OOPA goes the AC back into the window...my window ledge is brick so I'm relying on gravity and the force of the window to hold the little bugger in place. There was some mention of brackets and bracing and some silly nonsense...fuck it. Luckily, my windows are wooden, so I just screwed the vinyl wings right into wood...he he he...it's "goin' fuckin' nowhere...Where you goin'? Nowhere!" -Detective Greenly - Boondock Saints
The stupid thing has a remote control with two speeds...giggles maniacly.
Boondock Saints Quotes