Me the Tool Man Taylor

I trashed the old alien aztec deco glygh couch and bought a pretty black futon with no arms and a nickle (not crome) metal base. Arms on a futon for me equals broken toes when it's open up to a bed.

I got to Wallyworld and they finally had the futon I wanted, but no one was around to help me out. After waiting ten minutes for the furniture guy, the cell phone guy took pity on me and brought me a big cart. I wheeled this big honking thing up to the front also hauling my other cart behind me. It was an adventure in dexterity...I luckily didn't break any displays. I got this big box out to my car...a small 4 door saturn...and had the pleasure of figuring out how to get this thing home. Unbelieveably I had no cutting instruments with me. Joe had broken one of my mirrors in the move, so I took a broken chard of glass and cut the white plastic strip of the box...mind you it's 90 degrees in August humidity and I'm in the parking lot sweating like a pig with broken glass cutting into a box...nothing weird so far...

After freeing the box from its plastic bondage, I ripped open the big munukin' box. I took the tied up futon matress and jammed it into the back seat...so far so good...then I heaved the base box out of the bigger box and slid it into the trunk. Now I have this big ass box to somehow fold up since of course I can't possibly throw it away since there might be a return factor in there somewhere. So I'm folding and whacking and stomping on this thing like a psycho until I beat it into a size small enough to fit into the car. Must be smarter than the packaging!

I get the sucker home and open the box to find the destructions...mind you my living room is still a disaster and there is not enough space for a full size futon...we will worry about that later. I'm huffing and puffing and turning occelator fan on me so the sweat will quit running into my eyes...I need to get a do rag man! The directions say it takes two people and hour and a half to assemble...HA! It takes one stuborn pissed off virgo three hours to put this fraking thing together. So I spent the next three count them three hours putting together this fraking futon. I better be christening this thing in soon!

It's so pretty and comfy....now.